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I'm Well Into My Dad-Teens

Today is my fourteenth Dad Day.  I've been a Dad for exactly 14 years and I'm hoping for lots of presents.  Yeah, yeah, that means it's also my older daughter's 14th birthday, but this is about me, damnit!  This is my day to celebrate me, you know?  It's my chance to kind of, like, reflect on everything that's cool about me being a Dad.  And there's A LOT for me to reflect on.  

In those first few years I kind of stumbled along, making mistake after mistake, and dealing with totally gross stuff like diapers and baby food and baby puke, which looked suspiciously like baby food, but smelled worse.   It was pretty lame actually.  I was pretty lame.  But not anymore.  I'm fourteen now (in Dad years) and I know everything I need to know.  Really.  I mean, sure there are people who claim they know more than me (Than I?  Oh, what-EV-er!).  These geezers have been doing the parent thing for-like-ever.  But that doesn't make them experts, right?  I mean, experts are people who get on TV to talk about stuff that other people want to learn about, and who wants to see geezers on TV talking about this stuff?  I don't.

Like, the other day one of my daughters (I forget which one, and really what difference does it make?) was complaining about feeling sick and having a fever and throwing up and being achy and tired and stuff.  And I was like, "Okay, get over it already!"  I mean, ohmyGod, how much of that stuff can one person listen to, right?  And this is just what I mean.  Back when I was five or six in Dad years I would have been, like, "Oh, poor baby!  You need to lie down.  We'll take your temperature and put a blanket on you and get you some gatorade or something."  Lame, right?  And those geezer-guys will tell you to take a kid like that to the doctor or to read some lame All-About-Sick-Kids book.  Like I have time for that, right?  I mean you have no idea how hard it is being me.  Being fourteen in Dad years is really, really, really hard, even when you know as much as I do.

But today isn't about the hard stuff, like, you know, kids and things.  Today is about me and my fourteen years as a Dad.  So let's eat some cake and open presents!  

Um, will presents make my face break out...?


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 6th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
LOL! Happy birthday, Dad!
May. 6th, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Sherwood!!
May. 7th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
Happy 14th to you! Watch out for the red cordial...
May. 7th, 2009 01:16 am (UTC)
Red cordial! They don't have that here; Erin misses it....
May. 7th, 2009 01:17 am (UTC)
Hmmm... I'm thinking most of the cultural differences between our countries can be explained by the absence of red cordial in yours...
May. 7th, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
Yes! That and Lift. We really miss Lift.
May. 7th, 2009 01:31 am (UTC)
Then come back... we miss you! (or youse, as we say)
May. 7th, 2009 01:40 am (UTC)
We're working on it. Really. For next year. Fingers crossed.
May. 7th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC)
toes crossed too!
May. 7th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC)
14 years in dad years is like 42 in normal years....
May. 7th, 2009 01:17 am (UTC)
At least, Mark. Feels like more. Nancy and I were saying tonight that we can't believe we're old enough to have a 14 year-old kid.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


Australia, Ghost Gum
David B. Coe

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